A loved one has just trusted me with a piece of their identity, and I’m not sure how to feel. Perhaps in the past I have simply accepted what so many say, that the Bible argues against those are proudly LGBTQ+, without ever considering how accepting that notion as fact might affect someone near and dear to me. Perhaps this loved one’s coming out has rocked me to my core, or perhaps part of me was expecting it all the while. Either way, here I am, in front of you, all-loving Lord, asking you what I should do and how I can support this person I care so much about.
Part of my mind is a whirl of worry, of upset or fear or surprise – I am afraid they will not be able to fit in if they come fully out of the closet, that they will not be accepted in church or by our friends. I may be upset that they have not told me until now, or even that they have told me at all.But in all of this, selfless Christ, help me remember to make this moment about them, rather than about myself. Whatever I am feeling does not compare to what they must feel.
Lead me into thanksgiving that they felt they could trust me with this information. Help me see that I should rejoice with this knowledge, as it allows me to understand this person I love more intimately and wholly than ever. And help me live up to the trust they placed in me. Whatever anxieties I have, no matter how much time I personally need to come to terms with this person’s identity, help me be the support they need in the here and now. Don’t let me make them doubt my love for a moment, and remind me always to ask them what they need from me in order to feel loved.
Remind me that this is still the person I have always known, even if this is a part of them I was not aware of before. I will continue to love them as you continue to love them, Holy Creator – you who made them just as they are, as you made me just as I am. Together, you and I can help them feel loved and accepted.
In all things, all praise to you who get us through every hardship.
(Source: Prayer For When A Loved One Comes Out To You As LGBTQ+)
The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
― Thomas Merton from No Man Is an Island
- LGBT Catholics: Owning Our Faith
- My Calling Is To Love
- Martin Luther King, Jr. on the Parable of the Good Samaritan
- The True Self